Monday Mumblings: Grow Up!

"A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Wow. What a great quote to start this week out with! And what a lesson for me to have learned this weekend. Eleanor Roosevelt was an incredible woman: strong, independent, and unique of her time. She was a true symbol of someone to aspire to and absolutely one of the most exact examples of maturity and poise. Today's "role models" are typically not. And the most frustrating thing to me is to watch these so-called "idols" talk about how mature they have become. Lack of morals, cat fights, substance abuse, and plastic surgery galore do not reflect maturity. And while it is so easy for me to cast stones at these people, my lesson I learned this past weekend was that maturity is typically achieved when it's not something you pretend or choose to be anymore. It's something that I have repeatedly found myself guilty of and have finally cracked on.

I recently made a big mistake. When we are upset, hurt, angry, and disappointed, we all say and do things that we wouldn't normally do. It is so easy to lose control of one's temper and lash out irrationally at others, and it's times like these when it's easiest to lash out at the ones we love most. If we are lucky and find ourselves surrounded by understanding people, repair can usually be done, and should be done. I was insulted by the actions and words of a friend and, in turn, responded in a very immature and public way. When you're upset, the last thing you tend to think of is other people's emotions or reactions, and it can cause you to be hurtful. A mature person does not do this. A mature person has acquired coping skills that allow them to deal with their emotions in a healthier way. I hope to some day count myself among these people.

How many times have you bragged about how mature you've become or justified your unusual behavior with "maturity"? I'm guessing it's something you can identify with. And that's okay. It does happen. But one mature act does not a mature person make. And when you slip up and have a lapse in judgment that causes you to handle a situation poorly, learn from your mistakes. If you're rational enough, you will recognize the mistake on your own and correct the situation without prompting. Hopefully, forgiveness is in the cards, if you're lucky. Remind yourself that you are not a bad person for not handling a situation with poise; it's important to forgive yourself too. Beating yourself up over something you cannot change will not help you fully learn.

Even the most grown up of people will make mistakes in life. It's what you take away from a situation that differentiates the mature from the immature: a lesson or resentment... which are you holding on to? Be that bigger person. Acknowledge your mistake, learn from it, and don't repeat it. And keep that in mind when someone does wrong to you. Forgive. That, too, shows a great deal of maturity. None of us ever really finish growing up. We are constantly going through this life screwing up and making amends. If you're fortunate enough, you will make fewer mistakes as you get older. In the mean time, try to handle any and all situations with class and poise: turn the other cheek, say you're sorry, forgive, control your emotions, allow someone else's feelings to come first... those are the things that will earn you the title of an adult.

What about you? Have you labeled someone else as "immature" for a mistake similar to one you've made? Have you called yourself "the mature one" without really thinking about who may be right? It's easy to lash out at your enemies, but often times it's easier to lash out at your family and friends. Fix your mistakes as soon as possible and let love do the rest. Hope you all had a great weekend and are greeting the new week with a positive attitude!

'Til Tuesday,
P!