Today's the Day!!

Well, friends, I know I've been gone a lot with this busy time of year, BUT I return with great news: Today I become an auntie!! My sister-in-law (Scott's sister) text me at 3:00 this morning saying she was on her way to the hospital; that it was finally time to have her baby. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much after that so I apologize if this post seems scattered.

"So when are you two starting a family??" Ah, that beautiful question that SO many of us newlyweds are familiar with. The question the mother-in-laws are notorious for. Don't you just love it?? But whatever happened to the honeymoon phase? Whatever happened to simply enjoying the company of your husband and getting to know him on a new level? You're living with this man alone for the first time and you're just starting to pick up on his weird habits, his odd decorating choices, and which chores he will and won't do. To me, I'm overwhelmed enough by all that newness that I wouldn't be able to handle more change right away!

"When I was your age..." I love when people say that by now I could have one child and another on the way, because that's what THEY did. But what people don't always seem to remember is that babies take so much more time, consideration, and discussion than simply "I want one". Babies are a huge responsibility and require a great deal of stability and maturity. I'll be perfectly frank here: I am WAY too selfish to focus my attention on a baby at this point in my life. I'm also way too immature. Having a baby does not ruin your life or cause you to become anti-social, but it does require changes that affect everyone, family and friends, and I am not ready to make those changes. I love the freedom of going wherever, whenever, and not having to think about anything more than my dog... I mean, you can't put a baby in a cage with some water and go. Well... I suppose you could, but I think Child Protective Services would have something to say about that (do NOT try this at home). :p

"Wait... you don't??" The main reason I do not plan on having kids any time in the near future is because at this point in my life, I still don't want a family. It's not a defect; it's a choice. I simply have no desire to have a child right now. That obviously could very well change as I grow up a whole lot more, but it's never been one of those dreams I've had. I don't feel I need a baby to complete my happiness- I love my life as it is. Babies are not novelty items and I'm not about to have one simply to fit in or to quiet down my mother-in-law. ;)

Doting on the bestie's baby is enough for now... love this nugget. :) 

"If it happens, it happens." This is true. If God decides to send us a child before we feel we're ready, He does. If He does, clearly He believes we're ready. I will accept any curve ball He may throw at me. I fully intend to milk pregnancy for all it's worth, should it come to that, and hopefully will be able to get my life together enough to support the child well by then. I'd be terrified, but I feel confident that with the right partner by my side, I could do a pretty darn good job.

 

Kudos to all you amazing moms and mommies-to-be out there. I admire the dickens out of what you do and how you have so much love in your heart and brains in your head to look after another human life. I think all your children are beautiful blessings on your families. Like I said, perhaps SOME day I will feel mature enough to handle such a responsibility, but age is just a number in this regard- some of you have been mature enough since you were teenagers. My hat is off to you!!

So what about you? How did you know you were ready to have a baby -OR- why are you waiting, like me?

The Stopping Starts Now

Hey dolls- welcome to the (almost) weekend, at long last!! It has been a busy week and on top of it all, Scott has shared his lovely cold with me. Yay. Anyway, this weekend promises to be an exciting one for me- NDSU's Homecoming Game! So I will be driving four hours away to see this game, if that gives you any indication of just how much I love football and my team. Stay tuned for the results next week. While I'm away, be sure to submit your entries for my giveaway to pearlsofpink@msn.com. Got some great ideas so far and can't wait to see more! Also, if you just can't manage to get enough of me, you can catch yet another post from yours truly today over at my friend Taylor's lovely blog, The Presutti's. :)

Today, I want to talk about bullying. Growing up, I was ruthlessly bullied... I wasn't like the other kids and they hated me for it. I was the "freaky-smart tiny weird girl with the long hair" and because of that, I was tormented on the regular. I remember a day when a note with horrible things was written about me and passed around the entire class. While I was taking notes on science, snickering was going on behind me and I didn't know why. It wasn't until I found the crumpled up note on the floor after class that I figured it out... some girls thought it would be funny to make things up and use horrible words to tell a story about me, which lead to ignorant people who believed it starting it as a disgusting rumor to be spread around the locker bay.

It came to the point where I didn't know what to do at all, and things only got worse. After that first fiasco had gone down, I later started getting bullied more directly, to my face; mainly about my looks, but also about my choice in friends, my inability to play sports, and the clothes I wore. Even the people I thought liked me would hand me back-handed compliments. In one class I was bullied so bad that I would cry before I had to go, as well as after class. I didn't want to be seen. I thought if I ignored it, it would go away. It didn't.

I know I was unusual. I know I was very quiet. And I know I was what you would call a "nerd". But I was kind to everybody. Truly. Everybody. It wasn't people that were standing up to me... I did not deserve it and nobody does. I managed to get the courage to go and talk to our school counselors and they did target my tormentors and have talks with them. They told me that they would keep an armed guard with me, if that's what it took for people to leave me alone. But I couldn't use that kind of protection. There weren't going to be guards on my school bus, at other kids' houses, or at school dances with me. And so it continued. Eventually, I grew up and turned into a much more socially-acceptable lady and acquired a stronger ability to find loyal friends, but not everybody gets that chance.

Not everybody thinks they are worth the trouble to talk to somebody about it. Not everybody can just cry it out at home after school. And not everybody can just tell themselves it will get better (but I swear, it always does). Bullying is a real problem that has advanced through the ages. The stereotypical "milk money" bully, as I like to call them, from decades ago, is nothing compared to today's bullies. Today, the bully spreads rumors, calls names, and threatens others online. They drive young teens to suicide. This is unacceptable and where I want to take a stand.

My friends, Jillian and Jessie have started this campaign to end bullying and I fully support it, because I think every kid should be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel and not everyone does. I had a loving family who was aware of the problem and a strong faith to rely on in these hard times, but not everybody does and I cannot reiterate that enough. Teach your kids kindness, compassion, and acceptance. Do not tolerate unkind words about anyone. Tell your kids that bullies need to be reported and let them know that it will pass. If you want to take a stand against the bullying epidemic, feel free to visit Jessie's page and take the button.

Enjoy the weekend, friends!

Speak Now

"We must teach our girls that if they speak their mind, they can create the world they want to see."

-Robyn Silverman

Good morning, one and all! Yesterday, I had some fabulous new readers sign on to my blog and I just wanted to say a quick thank you and welcome to all of you- so glad you stopped by. :) Today I wanted to talk on the subject of passiveness, because it is something that is prominently affecting me right now, and I feel it is time to take a stand against it! I am a self-described "people pleaser"; that is, someone that wants everyone to like them. Believe me, I realize this is simply not possible, but for some reason, it sure doesn't stop me from trying! Selflessness is a beautiful thing- ir reflects well upon one's character... BUT if you are doing it at the expense of putting your own needs on the back burner, then you may want to re-evaluate your priorities in life.

So many times I have found myself at work being asked to do tasks that I am uncomfortable with; things that are not even part of my job description. There have been times where I didn't even know how to do what I was being asked to do. But did I explain that to my boss, co-worker, or manager? You bet your blisters I didn't. Instead I pretend that I am fine with doing them favors and set to work, thinking frustrated, resentful thoughts the whole time... but still carrying on like everything is fine. So it should come as no surprise when the next day I am asked to do the same thing again, sometimes by the same person, sometimes by someone who saw me helping out the day before. Either way, I smile and agree. Over time, this has caused me to try and avoid these people, building resentments, and keeping me from going out of my way to be helpful.

Then recently, I found out that one of my employees was struggling with the schedule I have been giving her since March. Rather than come to me about it and explain, she had moved her conflicts around to accomodate the schedule, until she finally cracked. She went right to the boss and told him about the issue, instead of coming to me. Finding out about an employee problem from your boss is not fun, but the problem didn't get blown up when I explained I didn't know. I instantly changed things to make them work for her, but it still reflected poorly on me. For awhile, I was frustrated that she didn't let me know, but then it dawned on me: how many times have I picked up her shifts and pretended I was okay with it, only to have someone tell her later that I was unhappy with working that day? If I wasn't going to stand up for myself, why would she? A manager is supposed to serve as an example of good behavior and strong character. I was failing to the extreme.

The phrase, "Is that okay?" thrown at the end of a request is an open invitation for you to exercise your basic human right to say no. Use it. If you have a problem, speak up. If you cannot do something, don't be afraid to admit it. There are times when it may seem so much easier to just shut up and deal with it, but in reality, using your voice will make all the difference. It will get you out of those situations you don't want to be in. It will keep you from building resentment that isn't justified. If you don't stand up for yourself, how is anyone supposed to know when there is a problem? If you smile and play along, it will only reinforce the idea that you are perfectly fine. You may come across as stubborn, lazy, or rude at times to those who aren't used to being confronted, but that is so easily dismissed by most. Change and correction comes with speaking up.

 



As women, we tend to want to be the care-givers and be sensitive toward everyone's feelings. But next time around, try thinking about yourself first and see what happens. Hoping this strikes a chord with some of you and finds you with a little extra back bone today. Remember, we're all in this together!!

Stay cool,

Monday Mumblings: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

"I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being."

-Jackie Robinson

Women are very sensitive about their hair. 'Nuf said. Managing a hair salon has shown me just how upset people can get when things go wrong. Our staff is made up of many wonderful stylists, all of whom I believe are capable and worthy to be in an upscale salon such as ours, but even the most professional of experts are not exempt from the occasional grouch. And when this happens, guess who gets to put on the gloves and boldly face them??

THIS girl. And you do NOT want to mess with ME!

But really... that can be incredibly intimidating. And unfortunately, I am bound by the confines of the age-old adage: "The customer is always right." We've all heard this one before, but to force yourself to enforce it under some conditions can be incredibly difficult. Just about a week ago, we had a misunderstanding with a client who requested the wrong service when setting up her appointment, which threw off our entire flow for the day and it just went downhill from there. Tears started flowing, phone calls were made, and one angry mama came rolling up to the salon doors and threw a nasty tantrum, complete with insults and name-calling to our front desk receptionist, who, by the way, had just started her shift for the day and was in absolutely no way responsible for the mistake or misunderstanding, or whatever you want to call it. Anyway!! Hearing a full-grown woman picking on a girl 1/3 her age who was just doing her job really struck a chord with me: who did this woman think she was?!

I don't know about all of you, but where I come from, it is not okay to toss around unwarranted insults to strangers. In life, things are going to go wrong. Mistakes are going to be made. I completely understand being frustrated or disappointed in how a situation is handled or played out, but there is a way to convey this without taking away somebody else's dignity. The workplace is tough enough- don't make somebody's job more difficult by shaming them, making them uncomfortable, and demeaning their personal qualities that don't pertain to the job. Show some respect. It happens to the best of us when we say things we don't mean, but it is important to make those episodes during occasions where it is more relevant. Not being able to be squeezed in for a last-second hair appointment is not one of those times. I implore all of you, should you find yourself upset with a particular business move, to take a moment to step back and evaluate the severity of the situation. If you are still upset, go to the correct person of authority and convey it to them, not whoever is within ear-shot, and please do so in a respectable and calm manner.

Now I don't want this post to sound as though I'm complaining about my job or that I'm secretly being passive-aggressive in the workplace, but I feel as though this message is long over-due and applicable to everyone: treat people with respect. It's The Golden Rule; it's the "what would you expect" mentality; it's a basic social courtesy... ABIDE BY IT. In a matter of minutes, this woman made this young girl feel horrible, causing her to feel personally attacked and consider leaving her job. Nobody should have that kind of power over you. Please keep it in mind, friends. But enough about me- I want to hear more about everyone else's weekends and cannot wait to check in with each of you!!

Pop back again for a less-strict post- haha (I sometimes get preachy, I know). Until then, take care!
P!

P.S. Made a blog button- feel free to take it if you're a fan!

Final Day of Freedom

"College is like a fountain of knowledge- and the students are there to drink."

-Unknown

Well friends, here we are at Friday again; a day that usually makes me happy, but today finds me with a heavy heart, as it is the last weekday of freedom before I return to schooling on Monday. While I was always a great student in high school and had a fantastic group of friends, college wasn't so kind to me. My transcript is what everyone jokes about as a patchwork quilt... an accurate description. I'm a pretty creative individual and conventional learning just isn't for me. I like to be out in the world, living and experiencing life, rather than reminding myself of the payoffs of all the current suffering. I know I am not special or unique in this mindset; however, I am unique in how I have gone about suffering through this. Check it out:

August 2007: I attended a local community college in hopes of saving money and completing my generals in a timely manner. My ambition? Theatre major or broadcast journalist. I suffered through this misery for a whole year, relying on my dear friend, Jessie and her fun, close-to-school apartment to keep me sane.

August 2008: I signed up for all online classes for fall semester. Turns out, I am NOT an online learner. Dropped two weeks in. Spent the rest of my time working as much as possible at a salon, where I was the only employee and got as many hours as I pleased. Seriously contemplated cosmetology school and almost enrolled. Decided in September to look into universities and was referred to NDSU in Fargo, ND and UW-Stout in Menomonie, WI. Fargo won.

January 2009: I began classes at NDSU, studying Fashion Retail Merchandising, and fell in love with college life. Dorms, cafeteria food, and friends accessible at all times? THIS was what my dreams were made of- haha! I considered not going home for the summer, just to spend more time in this new place to call "home".

July 2009: Ended up coming home. Fell in love a few weeks in... college never seemed less appealing.


August 2009: Suffered through an entire semester away from my beloved, who was living and going to school in Wisconsin. Being two states away should have killed us, but we still managed to see each other almost every weekend (my car and bank account did NOT thank me for that!). I had to close the gap and applied for UW-Stout my first day back at NDSU.

January 2010: Back at my original community college, working toward finishing up those oh-so painful general courses. On the up side, Scott and I moved in together so I got to see him A LOT more.

August 2010: I FINALLY graduated with my AA degree in general coursework from Century Community College. Two days later I got married.

September 2010: Began school at UW-Stout for Fashion Retail Merchandising and hated it from Day 1. Applied to Metro State University a month into the semester.

January 2011: Pushed back my admission date to Metro State to the summer semester, rather than spring and took all four months off again and worked at a salon (sound familiar?). I received a promotion at work and became the manager, making a lot more money and hours. School? What's that?

May 2011: Here we are, starting over yet again! Beginning Monday I will be back to school at Metro State University, most likely pursuing English. Two summer classes and two more semesters and I anticipate a very joyous graduation in May 2012. Wish me luck!

School is NOT for everybody and I'm not entirely sure it's for me. But with all the time, energy, and money I've invested into it, I cannot afford to let myself stop now. I intend to push through and earn that degree that I have so desperately grasped for over the past four years. Today I noticed many, many posts about former classmates celebrating their final days of college ever. Rather than serving as discouragement, I intend to use their happiness as inspiration for what I will accomplish my sticking with it. I just need to put my head down, plow through it, and get it done, because I WILL be happy to have earned this in the end. Thanks for sticking with this long post- I just like to give people a little background information from time to time to truly understand me. Anyway, here goes nothing and I'm hoping my fourth school will treat me well and get me to the finish line quickly. In the mean time, prayers are always welcomed (and returned). The support of friends will surely help me through this academic nightmare.

God bless!!
P!

SMILE! :D

Do not find the reason to smile, just find the way.

- Gaurav M.

Happy Tuesday, blog buddies!! It's a pretty dreary cloudy Minnesota day, but instead of sporting gray and a pout, I've decided to rock yellow and a smile. :)  I woke up this morning, just feeling like today was going to be not-so-bad, and wanted to capture that feeling while it lasted. They say any given day is going to be what you make it to be... I don't know if that's true. Sometimes, you have a great day and just cannot manage to make yourself feel happy about it. That's fine. My quote today said it all: you don't need to have a reason behind a smile and you don't even necessarily have to feel happy to smile. There are times when you are just going to have to grin and bear it, and it's times like that when you need to make the effort to at least appear approachable.

For instance, I mentioned that I have been going through some hard times recently, but at my job I am constantly dealing with people. A sour-puss face and red, teary eyes not only looks unprofessional, but it really brings other people's moods down and causes social awkwardness. This is a tough lesson at times. True, we are all entitled to our feelings and to take days off to tend to those emotions, but when we return to real life, it is important to greet it with a smile and behave as normal as possible. Reserve the anger and sadness for behind closed doors, when you can. I'm not saying this to sound insensitive; it's just a lesson that I recently learned and wanted to share (That's what this blog is all about, isn't it?). The bottom line is this: sometimes you just have to make it through the day. Not saying you need to be phony, and that you can't deal with your issues semi-publicly by discussing it with friends and co-workers, but I've found that if you put on a brave face and force yourself through the tough day, you'll find that it gets easier with every passing day and truly helps in the healing process.


So how can you find ways to smile? I like to look through old photo albums and find smiling pictures with friends that bring back happy memories. Or go on to silly websites that have pictures of baby animals- those always get me. What's your way of getting through the tough times with a brave face?? Things have been getting easier for me every day and my friends, both in person and in blogging, have been a great support system. Hopefully this message brings a little knowledge with it and inspires people to smile through the pain. Everyone looks ten times more beautiful when they smile (That's just a little beauty tip from me to you- haha!).

Smile, friend!
P!

Monday Mumblings: Happiness is a Warm Puppy

**WARNING: Many photos ahead!!**

Well, unfortunately it's that time of year: humans are getting sick (here's to you, Jessie!) and pets are no safer than we are!! 'Tis the season for shots and hefty doses of medicine for my pup! This morning I woke up and found a tick on Gizmo's ear, which really grossed me out and confused me... he rarely goes outside, which leads me to believe that NO PUP IS SAFE!

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wives, and hide yo' puppies, 'cause they bitin' err'rebody out here!

(Sorry, had to get my nod to Antoine Dodson in here haha!)

So I will be taking my poor pooch to the vet today to get his shots and to pick up some Frontline. Having a dog is a huge responsibility... and an expensive one at that! But I believe that it is completely worth it when you arrive home after a long day and are greeted by an anxious dog who is always so excited to see you. Dogs don't care if you have a bad hair day, they don't lie to you or pretend to be someone they're not, they don't know if you are rich or poor; they love you for you. Too bad it isn't always that easy with humans! Getting a dog was the greatest decision I ever made! I used to be a cat person, but not only was I deathly allergic so I couldn't keep one in the house; it just didn't have the same heart-warming effect that my puppy does. So, while today's message is nothing special, I just wanted to give a shout-out to the dogs out there who make us feel loved: You truly are (wo)man's best friend! Today, I'm sharing photos of my pup with all of you... feel free to send me pics of yours too!! Hope you're all having a wonderful day!!

 

 

 I love you, Gizmo! Happy Vet's Day- haha!

'Til Tuesday,

P!