Living and Working Apart

When it comes to dating, long-distance relationships are the worst. Not only do they take more work to maintain, but they eat away at your heart like termites and throw your focus right out the window. Especially when it's a new relationship. I moved into my apartment in Fargo, North Dakota two weeks after meeting Scott. Life never seemed so unfair... I had just found the man of my dreams and then I had to move two states away from him?! It was heart-breaking to say the least. I found myself unable to concentrate in school and the exciting appeal of having my own place for the first time ever was actually just a constant reminder of how alone I was, without my boyfriend around. As soon as the semester ended, I moved back home to get engaged to my now-hubby. Those four months apart were a nightmare, but it was only that: four months. A blip on the radar of my life. But what about couples that can't just throw away their lives and move to be with their loved one? What about those people who need to stay put to stay financially above water?

It's tough to stay away from this guy!

We now live in a world that makes it incredibly difficult to survive in a marriage on one person's income alone. But jobs are scarce and money talks, which is what has launched this new trend I like to call "Long Distance Marriages". When I first began reading about several of you fabulous bloggy couples out there, who leave town every couple of weeks to work, or live apart while the other searches for a job, I thought, "Wow, what an odd arrangement!" And then I realized: I come from a family living under those same circumstances.

My dad is an incredibly hard-working man, and over the years it earned him multiple promotions and special recognition at his job. So when he was selected above many other employees to be sent to work on a very important project with an oil company in Alaska, it was quite the honor. We all had to make adjustments, but my mom was the main person affected by it (obviously). She grew up in a large family and then, until my baby brother turned 18, raised four children and watched them go off to college. The empty nest was made emptier by one absent hubby. Their arrangement is that my dad flies to Alaska for work for a few weeks and then returns home for a few weeks before his next "shift" on the Alaskan slope.

My parents: Living apart and still going after over 30 years!

Scott's dad is a pilot and growing up, Scott and his family moved A LOT. But despite everyone moving together so that they could stay near one another, there were still week-long trips and many overnights that forced my in-laws to live apart much of the time. My brother and his wife were not even married a year, when my sister-in-law had to move far south for a few months to find a job that could pay the bills... what a way to spend your first year of marriage, eh? And even Scott and I struggled to accept that if he was not able to graduate this winter, that I would have to move ahead to Fargo without him, until he could graduate and move back in with me. We had to talk about living arrangements, what we would do with Gizmo, and how we would plan visits to see one another.

Scott's parents: Love keeps these two together.

So this is not a unique situation my loved ones live in, and for you ladies out there who have to leave your hubby to earn some Benjamins for awhile, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! This lifestyle is necessary for a lot of couples out there, especially in these tough economic times, and my utmost admiration is extended to those who are able to do it. This kind of relationship takes a lot of extra work (on top of the work that is keeping them apart in the first place), and communication, faith, trust, and LOTS of love are the keys to making it run. If you are fortunate enough to have found a job that allows your family to stay together, do NOT take it for granted. If you are one of the lucky people who gets by on one income, say a thank you to the Lord. Because we are incredibly blessed. I struggle to spend even one night away from my husband, so I love the daylights out of all you women living independently, for being so strong, dedicated, responsible, and hard-working that you are able to live like that for the practical good of your family. God bless you!

How about any of you guys? Do you live and work apart from your spouse? Does somebody you know do that? Do you think this trend will linger on for the rest of our lives or become less frequent as time passes on and the economy changes? I love getting your thoughts!

Happy Monday,